Relieving the ego’s pain points.


I know I’m not the only person around who wants things.

The things that we want come in many different shapes and sizes, but I am talking about the Big Things.

The things that our inner being is calling out for. The things that, if we look closely enough, cause us the most suffering, longing, and emptiness because they have not yet manifested in our experience.

For a long time, I had been deeply longing for an aligned way in which to use my voice. To be successful professionally. To be clear. To stitch my fractured talents and interests into a unified whole. To belong somewhere. To have a beautiful life and family. Other Things, too. 

But sometimes, it seemed as though these things were pretty much impossible. These Things, these acute pain points, snowballed into Big Problems with No Solutions.

Because my experience was only causing me to notice the lack of them, and the seemingly insurmountable obstacles that were in front of them. And my fearful grasping at the Things was only causing more inner pressure, self-blame, constant suffering, and a weeeee bit of doom.

That is the ego in scarcity mode: it’s always trying to take possession of The Thing, but constantly telling you that it’s not really possible anyway. (Wtf?!)

And our inner response is typically an existential Oh Well. 

This is a slippery slope of indifference.

It’s part of our conditioning to keep us safe and sound. We buy into it because our mind reminds us that there simply is no solution in sight and we are still cool so let’s keep doing what we’re doing and hope the dullness eventually goes away or at least isn’t toooo much of a burden and maybe later it might work out?

This was a compromise that I could no longer buy into.

There has to be an easier way. And the direct evidence of God’s benevolent universe, the miracle of life, the untold bounty of individual creative power, the unseen forces working on our behalf, the inner fire of the heart, mystical visions…

Something is afoot. I smell a rat. 

I finally became so fed up, frustrated, and, frankly, over myself and this constant situation of longing and loss that I made a pact with myself: no more grasping.

I am, from here on out, only interested in creative solutions to realize My Things.

And I said a prayer: Dear Lord, make me a vessel of your will, your music, and your mind. I trust that all will be creatively managed in the way that is perfect for me at this time. 

And lo, everything changed. 

In our culture, we have a pervasive belief in a lack of solutions. Most pain points are accepted as part of the deal of being human. To some degree that is true. But pain caused by compromise is not necessary. Bargaining with fear is a choice. 

When we recognize that fear is no longer the running the show when it comes to our Most Important Things, and we really truly deeply desire this in our life, then we simply need to reframe the situation.

Rather than fret at the lack of any clear solution to our most pressing pain point, I invite you to respond instead…

I believe there is a perfect creative solution to this situation. (I just don’t see it yet.)

It comes down to whether you consciously settle for an unsolvable problem, or trust in the creative unfolding of a beautiful, customized, hasn’t-yet-been-invented-because-it’s-so-freaking-brilliant solution.

Paint points can be transformed in a moment of simple reflection. Or rather, inflection.

It takes one moment to say I want to feel better. I want this experience. I am ready for change.

What happens next is nothing short of a miracle.

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