six ways to help you love your voice
W R I T T E N B Y Allison Mondel
Do you love your voice?
I don’t mean, is your voice good enough/lovely enough/functional enough to love.
But do you love your voice inherently?
I recall one time, several years ago, when I cursed God for my voice. I was mad. How could I have ended up with such a faulty, ugly, no goodnik, untrustworthy emanation of sound that was so rejectable.
Well, the silver lining of this experience is that it has taught me to truly love and value my voice. And its innate power.
I say this not to shock or rattle, but to be clear that the journey I have been on to reclaim my voice as lovable and worthy has been one of determination, emotional grit, and surrender to the process.
Not practice more, not be awesome at singing, and not toughen up to withstand rejection.
But rather, to say to myself:
“I love my voice. And I will not allow anyone else’s opinion to sway me from this Truth.”
Because not only it is possible to love your voice, I believe it is part of our healing process into living more deeply and fully as human beings.
Six Ways to Love Your Voice
You need not have everything figured out right now to love your voice. And there are some very clear stepping stones on this path that I want to share.
1. Know and accept that your voice is sacred
Your voice is not broken or faulty. It emanates from a divine source and manifests via your human body. When you accept this, you learn to connect with this sacred source via your heart center. You loosen the grip of the ego voice and accept the sacred voice.
2. Commit to letting go of your Ego Voice
When you accept that your voice is divine in nature, you will recognize when there is some messaging that is, well, totally off. When you hear any self-talk that is pulling you off course (which it will), know what that is. It is your Ego Voice, and this voice is not loving. It is going to sabotage you, so just be on the lookout. Better yet: make a commitment to yourself to let go of operating with this voice, and commit to your sacred voice. Then practice coming back to your center every time you fall off the voice horse!
3. Know and accept that your voice is brilliant (even if you don’t know a lot about singing)
Singing and making sound is a miraculous process of your creative impulse meeting breath energy that creates vibration. It is all managed through a delicate and intrinsically brilliant operating system that is your human body and mind. Isn’t that amazing? It is. Your voice knows how to work already. Do not get caught up in how it may not be operating at maximum. But begin to watch and become aware of what may be inhibiting this innate connection.
4. Know and accept that your voice has a presence
If and when you are ready to accept the sacred nature of your voice, you discern that it actually has a presence of its own. I experience my sacred voice as an entity, or avatar of a sacred presence. It is one of the most powerful and beautiful experiences I can describe. We are typically so muddled up that it’s difficult to discern. I will sometimes coach my students to let your sacred voice sing that for you. See what happens, and be reminded of Point #1: Know and accept that your voice is sacred!
5. Listen to what your voice needs
Your voice, and your intuition, are in constant communication with you. When we manage to lower the volume on the ego voice (by centering our awareness), your inner voice is going to give you signals of what you need right now. Maybe not pushing yourself, or over-practicing, or obsessing over the notes, or avoiding singing altogether! But rather something like: pick up this song… try watching the breath here… allow more air… let go… this is the way the music goes… When we listen to our voice, we have a more harmonious experience with our voice. The relationship shifts and we feel more appreciative, adaptive, and yes, more loving.
6. Listen to your body
When you begin to quiet the ego voice, you will be more aware of your body. Your body is your instrument, and it will reflect your state of being. This includes where you may be limiting yourself, and where you need to grow, expand, and heal. Your only job is to listen and honor the direction it may be offering you. The more you listen to your instrument, the more you honor your voice.
I hope that you will discover and taste the sweetness of living in harmony with your voice. After dwelling in the lowest place, I feel even more appreciative of the highest, most loving, and most connected place with my voice. And I, too, will continue to follow these steps so that I may continue to build a more trusting, loving, and valued relationship with my voice.
So just a reminder: your voice is a manifestation of the divine within you. That is worth loving at all costs.
I’m Allison Mondel, Transformational Voice Coach and big-hearted seeker on a mission to help others discover their innate, brilliant Sacred Voice, and transform their singing and their lives.
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